my life? you are
by inbalbibi
Summary: amu and her love for ikuto, a friend that ran off to fined hes dad when she was 12 years old. he lef for 4 years leaveing a lover bhind with no way of contact. he leavs her after a confession for his love to her. how did amu survived withaut ikuto her 3


this is my first fanfic so im not sure that is good ^_^ please comment cus if you wont then i wont ceep on writeing... sorry for the wrong speling :D hope youll like it 3

Amu pov

"Damn it"

It was 6:00 am and I was fast asleep on the ground "damn this dreams" I got up from the apparently frizzing floor and started to arrange my bed and heir. The nights were not the same sins he left. "Four years damn it! Why can't I fall asleep just for one freaking night?" it couldn't be worse! As I finish arranging my bed I went to the desk so I could take my guitar and start playing it, just when I nodes that picture… "He was not even looking at the camera" I smiled a plain smile. It was in 6th grade, ikuto and I were in the park that we liked to hang out at. I was all childish and he was awfully good looking. Fffflassssh backkk:

"Ikuto? Ikuto? Where are you perverted cat!"

Ikuto was hiding… I didn't know why.

"Ikuto! Dud where are you! Come on!" I was cheerful that day. I saw him seating on a bench looking far; he didn't notes me so I wanted to surprise him. I walked slowly behind him and SNAP! I jumped on him and pictured us. He didn't look at the camera or at me, even that I put my hand on his chest and squished him like he was a big doll!

"Hhha...What?" Ikuto finely remembered that I'm alive.

"Dud I'm calling your name like a half in hour!" I was all pissed off.

"Dud" he said smirking. "You have got to stop saying dud! You're a girl"

"Ya ya whatever! Why didn't you look at the camera?" I asked for the sake of the cute picture.

"I was thinking" he answered steel dip in his thoughts. He looked serious.

"Hhha?" I didn't understand. He grabbed me from the waist and lifts me to the bench. He was so strong. He looked in to my Eyes dip dip! I felt like he could see all my feelings.

"What is it ikuto?" I asked

"Never mind" he said, he looked disappointed.

"come on!" I wanted to know so badly!

"Just grow up all ready, ok?" he asked sweetly

"Hhha?" I didn't understand him that time. He smirked.

"Amu…" he called my name.

"What?"

"Amu... I'm going to find my dad" he said looking at the stars.

"You're going away?" I stud up! Ikuto was shocked from the way I responded! He looked at me with opened ayes. "when did you think you'll tell me? For how long?" my anger took over me. I didn't need anyone to tell me what I really felt for him anymore, it was obvious to me like his deep blue easy. "Tell me what were you thinking to yourself?" I felt the tears flooding my easy. – Ho no- all my body lost control. I fell on the floor. –Splash- one drop fell on the ground. –Splash- 2 drops fell on the ground. "Ikuto you a…" I was about to say ass, but a drop fell on my chick. "hhha?" I looked up. Ikuto was covering his face with his hands. "Ikuto?" he fell down on his knees next to me and start crying quietly.

"Damn it amu! Stop Saying things that make me all Emotional. It's not my character!" ikuto was sad…. Even I could see that.

"Ikuto…" I bend myself to him and hug him softly. After a couple of minutes he got over the bad emotions and let go of my hug. –ho no… I'm still crying- he was holding my shoulders.

"Amu…" his face was so close to my face… his lips were so close to my lips… his easy were so dip in my easy… "No more" he said. He kissed me a gentle kiss... a long gentle kiss! And there we were under the moon light kissing with no control…

Next day:

I woke up at his apartment. He wasn't next to me… It sure was over between us…

Ennnd offf flash back:

"Damn it" I tuck the picture and throw it on the ground. The picture frame was shattered into pieces. The tears were coming out… I just didn't care. Who can see me when I live no longer with my family? Yes... your right … no one! I looked again at the shattered picture and took my guitar. I put the guitar in his suitcase and went to organize myself. The closet was already opened. I took the black and red striped sweater and added a black tie. I took short black pants and wore a cat hat that reminded me about ikuto and his best friend yoru. I put on my black high socks and Shoes and ran out to the park… yes… that park… Where me and ikuto kissed good-bye. – yes…. This is the day he left- that's all I thought about - will he come this year? or will I stay there all day like the last 4 years?- Rhetorical questions have not stopped to stretch me –all this years on this day exactly I came waiting for him and he doesn't come! what the hell an i doing here? –

I sat down on **that** bench in **that** park… took my guitar Out and started to play.

**Eternal snow:**

Kimi wo suki ni naate dorekurai tatsu no kana? Kimochi Fukurande yuku bakari de  
Kimi wa Kono omoi kidzuiteiru no kana?  
Ichido mo kotoba ni wa Shitenai kedo

Yuki no youni Tada shizukani  
Furitsumori Tsudzukete yuku

Hold me tight Konna omoi nara  
Dareka wo suki ni naru kimochi  
Shiritaku Nakatta yo

**-The tears were falling again…-**

I love you

**-I really do-**

Namida tomaranai  
Konnan ja Kimi no koto  
Shirazuni ireba Yokatta yo

Kimi wo itsumade omotteiru no kaNA?  
Tameiki ga mado GARASU(Glass) Kumoraseta

Yureru kokoro Tomosu KYANDORU(Candle) de  
Ima Tokashite Yukenai kaNA?

Hold me tight Oreru hodo tsuyoku  
Kogarashi Fubuki ni deatte mo  
Samukunai youni to  
I miss you Kimi wo omou tabi  
Amikake no Kono MAFURAA(Muffler)  
Konya mo hitori Dakishimeru yo

Eien ni furu yukiga aru nara  
Kimi he to tsudzuku kono omoi Kakuseru no kaNA?

Hold me tight Konna omoi nara  
Dareka wo suki ni naru kimochi  
Shiritaku Nakatta yo  
I love you Mune ni komiageru  
Fuyuzora ni sakebitai  
Ima sugu kimi ni Aitai yo

**Eternal snow- English version**

How long has it been since I fell in love with you?  
My feelings only increase  
Will you notice them  
Even though I've never once put them into words?

Like the snow, they just  
Quietly keep accumulating

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels  
I didn't want to know  
What it was like to be in love with someone  
I love you- my tears won't stop  
And so I wish  
That I had never met you

How long will I be thinking of you?  
My sighs fogged up the window glass

can a candle flame  
still melt my trembling heart?

Hold me tight, tight enough to break me  
So that even in an icy wind or a blizzard  
I won't feel cold  
I miss you- every time I think of you  
Tonight, too, I hold  
This half-finished muffler, all alone

If there was an eternally falling snow  
Could it hide my feelings for you?

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels  
I didn't want to know  
What it was like to be in love with someone  
I love you- the feeling wells up in my chest  
I want to shout to the wintery sky  
"I want to see you right now"

I played the last accord. "damn it ikuto where are you?" I cried and hid my face with the palms of my hands. I felt useless until big hands wrapped me from behind.

"I'm here amu… I'm here"


End file.
